


Step by Step

by dgalerab



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguably Autistic Kenma, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dgalerab/pseuds/dgalerab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone might think that Kenma is the one that is always following Kuroo, but it's Kuroo that's been trying to slip his life into Kenma's since he can remember. He might get a little scared by the idea of going off to college without Kenma. Kenma handles it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Kenma meets Kuroo is only a few weeks before his ninth birthday. It’s an October that curls around Kenma like a shadow, a slightly foggy, grey mess that fits how Kenma feels most of the time. He’s been walking home alone for the first time this year, even though his house is several blocks down from his school.

He’s watching the way the leaves curl around his feet with the wind as he walks, hands clutched tightly on the strings of his backpack, tugging on them absently so his hands have something to do as he walks. He’s in a comfortable lull when someone calling his name breaks him out of it.

On impulse he curls in on himself and pretends that he doesn’t hear it, but he can hear the thudding of feet behind him. He sighs. It’s unlikely that he’ll avoid whoever this is entirely, but hopefully if he doesn’t respond they’ll lose interest like all his other classmates.

“Kenma!” comes the voice again, right over his shoulder now. “It’s Kenma, right?”

Kenma nods. He doesn’t want to be mean, just wants to be left alone. He lets his hair fall over his face and keeps walking.

“I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, from the fourth grade.” Kenma can see the four fingers displayed proudly beside him. He peeks up, slightly curious. Not one of his classmates, then. Kuroo is a tiny bit taller than him, and he has wild black hair that spikes up around his head, but the wind ripples right through it, so it must be extraordinarily soft. Kenma kind of wants to feel it, but not enough to ask. Kuroo’s got sharp eyes, too, in a way that Kenma figures might be scary for a lot of people, but which makes him feel at ease. He thinks Kuroo is the type to see when Kenma’s had enough. “We live on the same street.”

“Oh,” Kenma says.

“Can I walk home with you?” Kuroo asks.

It puts Kenma in a bit of a predicament. He doesn’t want to say no, exactly, or hurt Kuroo’s feelings, but he doesn’t want to walk home with him either, really. He hums in a way that isn’t a no or a yes, really. Kuroo seems to take it as a yes, but he also seems to notice that Kenma’s not thrilled about it.

“Sorry,” he says. “It’s just you’re so quiet.”

 _It’s intentional_ , Kenma thinks. He doesn’t want to be louder. Doesn’t want to make new friends. He’s tired of everyone always taking pity on him, wanting to be friends just because he has none.

Kuroo slumps over, a petulant look crossing his face. “All the boys in my class are really annoying,” he whines. “Or they get really annoying. I thought it might be nice to be friends with someone quiet.”

Kenma blinks, but he doesn’t look up. His fists tighten on his backpack. That wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Now I’m being annoying to you,” Kuroo laughs, blushing a little. “Sorry. We can walk back quietly.”

They do. After his explanation, Kuroo doesn’t say a single word, though he bounces beside Kenma a little, scampering after the leaves and kicking at them, laughing a little, occasionally grinning at Kenma. Kenma watches him with wide eyes. Kuroo is so lively, but he’s not asked Kenma to be lively with him once.

It’s actually… kind of nice walking with Kuroo.

They get to Kenma’s house first, and Kuroo hops in front of him and grins. “This was nice!” he chirps, grinning and displaying a hand like he’s waving. “Can we walk to school together tomorrow?”

Kenma just hums again, though it’s slightly more affirmative than earlier.

“Ok!” Kuroo says, decidedly emboldened. “I’ll wait for you here!”

The next morning, Kuroo is, indeed, standing right there on the street corner, bouncing a little as he jogs up to Kenma when he comes through the gate of his house. “Good morning!” he exclaims brightly.

“Good morning,” Kenma mumbles, and just starts walking.

Kuroo dashes after him, but he doesn’t say anything this time either, not until they’re at school and he waves at Kenma on his way to his own class. “See you after school, ok?”

Kenma finds himself nodding, waving at Kuroo as he walks to class.

That’s how they start walking to and from school every single day, or rather, that’s the fateful day that Kuroo becomes Kenma’s first friend.

-X-

Kenma gets his first gameboy for his ninth birthday. Once he gets used to the motions, he realizes how useful the game is to keep his fingers occupied. It splits his attention too, so that the noises and sounds around him aren’t as overwhelming. He can still take in details, hear and see around him, but at the same time, a bit of his mind is always trying to figure out how to get to the next level, his fingers are learning the movements necessary to do it impulsively.

Kuroo likes looking over his shoulder, too, as they walk. He seems to be mesmerized by the way Kenma picks up his pace in the game, though Kenma feels as though he’s still clumsy at it. He sees what he should be doing, but somehow his fingers can’t quite keep up yet.

“You’re so smart,” Kuroo says at some point, surprising Kenma.

Kenma’s grades are ok, but he’s never thought of himself as smart. He doesn’t know how to respond to an unfounded compliment, so he just lets it hang in the air.

“You’re always paying attention to things,” Kuroo continues, sounding a little amazed.

 _Doesn’t everyone?_ Kenma thinks.

“I see it on your face. You’re taking it all in, even though you don’t look like you’re paying attention. I bet you know a bunch of secrets.”

“I don’t know any secrets,” he mumbles.

“You just don’t care about them enough for them to feel like secrets to you,” Kuroo whines. “Secrets are supposed to be exciting.”

Kenma shrugs. Maybe that’s it. But Kenma still doesn’t find anything he might have observed exciting. Besides, when he thinks of things he’s noticed recently, they’re all about Kuroo, and those wouldn’t be secrets to Kuroo, and they’re not exciting either, just kind of warm, in a familiar way. He knows Kuroo likes cats, and that cats like Kuroo, and that Kuroo will always stop to pet them, even if he has to run after Kenma after. He knows that Kuroo is kind, that he gave his lunch to a girl who forgot hers a few days ago. He knows that Kuroo never combs his hair, that he dashes out of his house each morning still rubbing the tangles out of it.

“I bet you know who all the girls like,” Kuroo teases.

Kenma shrugs. He supposes he’s heard the girls talking about crushes. It seems pretty childish to Kenma, like they’re trying to act grown up and in love when it all amounts to something like picking out a flavor of candy at the store. Quick, fleeting, and it’ll change soon. “That’s not very exciting,” he says.

“Well, all the boys in my class think it is,” Kuroo protests.

“Do you?” Kenma asks. He wonders if Kuroo has a crush on a girl. The thought seems silly.

Kuroo deflates. “Not really,” he says. “I don’t get it.”

“I don’t either,” Kenma assures him. He manages to get over the level that he was just working on, and Kuroo gasps appreciatively. Kenma doesn’t mind. It makes it a little more fun that Kuroo’s so impressed by how he does it, though it seems simple. Each level is predictable, with a certain set of skills you need to practice to get past it. It’s relaxing, but Kuroo’s what makes it interesting.

He passes another level before he realizes Kuroo is looking right at him, grinning. He tilts his head slightly in a silent question.

“Next year,” Kuroo says. “I’m going to remember your birthday.”

The idea that Kuroo’s going to be his friend next year too makes Kenma feel strange. Good strange, but strange. He doesn’t know where to put it, but he nods and almost smiles, and Kuroo looks at him like he’s said something wonderful.

-X-

Kuroo forgets to tell him about his birthday. Kenma realizes this means they’ve got to be friends even longer, since Kuroo’s birthday is later than Kenma’s birthday. He tells Kuroo as much, but Kuroo just laughs. “Kenma,” he says, “I want to be friends with you for a lot of years.”

Kenma doesn’t get why, because they barely ever talk, and when they do it’s mostly Kuroo, but he kind of wants to be friends with Kuroo for a lot of years too.

A few days later, Kuroo comes over after school. It’s the first time, and Kenma’s a little apprehensive when his mother calls him down.

“Hi!” Kuroo says brightly, but he looks nervous. “I… I got a volleyball for my birthday. I was wondering if you wanted to come down with me to the park while I play with it. You can play with your game while I do!”

Kenma likes Kuroo like this. He’s usually a little boisterous, a little too rough somehow, even if he’s kind and smart and likes the quiet, but sometimes he’s so timid and open, and Kenma likes seeing that too. He feels like it might be something only he gets to see. Maybe that’s what Kuroo meant when they talked about secrets.

“Ok,” he says, and Kuroo’s grin could light up the sky even on a dark, moonless night.

Kenma walks down with him to the park and starts playing on his gameboy while Kuroo tries to toss the ball up and hit it at once. After a while, Kenma stops playing to watch Kuroo hit himself in the face with the ball again. “I don’t think you’re supposed to do that on your own,” Kenma says.

Kuroo sighs. “I’ll get it eventually,” he says.

Something moves in Kenma’s chest at that, that Kuroo is so determined not to make Kenma play with him that he’s willing to keep floundering with the ball as long as it takes. Even though, Kenma realizes, he could just make friends with the other boys. They might be loud, but Kenma doubts it matters much during volleyball.

He switches of his gameboy and scoops up the ball. “I’ll toss to you,” he says.

“Really?” Kuroo exclaims, like he’s offered something a great deal more awesome than just throwing a couple balls. He sobers up quickly, though. “Don’t you want to keep playing your Gameboy?”

Kenma shrugs. “It’s fine.”

“Thanks!” Kuroo cries, overjoyed.

Kenma throws him tosses for almost an hour before his arms get tired and he gives up. Kuroo can only hit about half of them, but Kenma’s trying to adjust the tosses to make them easier to hit. It’s not so different from the video games, though it’s more tiring, which Kenma hates. Still, when he gives up, Kuroo doesn’t badger him. “Can we do this again tomorrow?” Kuroo asks. He’s been jumping and running and Kenma doesn’t see how he’s not tired.

Kenma pulls out his Gameboy and starts playing again. “Sure,” he says. Kuroo is his only friend, and he’s a good friend. Volleyball seems like a small price to pay. Besides, he doesn’t hate it.

Kuroo beams at him. “Thanks, Kenma!”

That’s how volleyball becomes part of their daily routine too.

-X-

Kuroo, true to his word, is still friends with Kenma by his next birthday. It’s also the first time that Kuroo says over. He comes over to give Kenma his present (a Pokémon game, though Kenma has no idea how he saved up for it) and he gets invited in by Kenma’s mother, who seems excessively happy that Kenma has a friend over, even though Kuroo has been Kenma’s friend for a year now.

They curl up together and Kuroo watches Kenma play Pokémon. He’s quieter than usual, and Kenma gets a little scared that now he’s stuck it out until Kenma’s birthday, they’re not going to be friends anymore. That thought passes quickly, though. Kuroo isn’t really friends with anyone else, and they’ve been doing stuff all the time. Kuroo likes Kenma, for whatever reason. And besides, they’re supposed to be friends at least until Kuroo’s birthday, so that’s another month where the promise has to hold.

Kenma watches Kuroo quietly and only halfway plays his game. Kuroo’s head is laying on the side of the bed, and he doesn’t look too great, but he murmurs in discontent every time Kenma stops playing. Eventually, Kuroo falls asleep, and Kenma takes the chance to feel his forehead. Kuroo’s feverish, so Kenma runs to get his mother. His mother smiles. “He’s probably just got a cold. It’s been chilly lately,” she says, and she lifts Kuroo into the bed and calls his parents to tell them he’s resting at Kenma’s.

Kenma watches as she makes him soup, and when she comes into the bedroom with it he takes it from her and pulls it into his lap with determination. Kuroo is his only friend, Kenma should be able to take care of him. His mother smiles and lets him rouse Kuroo and feed him the soup with the same sort of focus that he usually reserves for his games.

Kuroo seems bleary, but once Kenma has fed him the soup he croaks out a hoarse, “Sorry.”

“Why?” Kenma asks, genuinely confused.

“It’s your birthday and I’m sick.” Kuroo seems really upset about it, like it’s somehow his fault that he got sick.

“I liked your present,” Kenma says, because he’s not sure what else he can say.

“Really?” Kuroo rasps.

Kenma nods. “And you get to stay over now,” he adds.

“Really?” Kuroo asks again, and as washed out as he looks, the look on his face is as radiant as ever.

“The bed is big enough for two of us,” Kenma says.

“What if you get sick?” There’s a desperate note to his voice, but Kenma just shrugs and curls up next to him and keeps playing Pokémon. Kuroo fidgets nervously for a while, but eventually he relaxes into it and watches Kenma play.

Kuroo is restless even when he sleeps, and eventually he steals Kenma’s pillow and crams it over his head. Kenma realizes that that’s what spikes his hair like that, and for some reason, as he looks at Kuroo’s nose poking out from under the pillow, that feels like a secret. Exciting, even.

For Kuroo’s birthday, Kenma gets him a scarf from his allowance. It’s a little big on Kuroo, but Kuroo just grins and says that this way he can wear it forever.

Forever is longer than any of their other promises, Kenma thinks. Still, as he watches Kuroo’s grinning face poking out of the massive scarf wrapped around him, it’s a promise that Kenma very much wants to keep.

-X-

Their height difference isn’t really much to write home about until Kuroo’s headed off to middle school, at which point Kuroo is lanky, verging on gangly, and Kenma is still small and unassuming. It’s perfect, really, though that’s the point where everyone starts thinking Kuroo is actually cool. Up until then he’d been a little dangerous looking, but his good grades and the fact that he spent all his time with Kenma trumped that.

Now, though, he’s tall and he looks downright intimidating. At least, that’s what Kenma realizes after a few weeks.

Kuroo is grumpy about going to middle school at first. Kenma doesn’t really care. It’s not like he was ever in the same class as Kuroo, and it’s not very far to the middle school. Kenma even gets out a little earlier, so he can walk over to catch Kuroo. It’s a bit out of his way, but if he’s playing his games it’s not so bad.

He’s a little upset about Kuroo joining the volleyball club, though he doesn’t get why. It’s not like volleyball is the only thing they do together, but so far it’s been something they only did with each other. But Kuroo is so animated when he talks about their team plays, though, that Kenma gets over it quick enough. Not to mention, he often finishes by fixing Kenma with what he seems to think is a soul-crushing puppy dog look and saying, “But I still miss your tosses, Kenma,” which ends in Kenma getting dragged out to play volleyball even after Kuroo has just had practice and Kenma thought he was free.

Still the niggling worry lingers at the back of his mind sometimes. Maybe Kuroo will finally move on from Kenma.

Kuroo is bounding along beside him, talking animatedly about his new chemistry teacher, and something about covalent bonds when Kenma first meets some of his teammates, a couple of first years. They wave at him nervously, and then scurry off.

Kenma raises an eyebrow. “What was that about?” he asks.

Kuroo laughs. “The whole team thinks I’m kind of a badass,” he says. “I guess my time difference attacks are too scary.”

Kenma watches him quietly. He can see where they get the idea. Kuroo has a bit of a natural sneer, even though Kenma knows it’s because his grin is lopsided and because he’s calculated, but not in a mean way. Kenma remembers when Kuroo cried over the neighbor’s cat when they had to put it down. Kenma has been listening to Kuroo talk about chemistry for half an hour.

“Kuro,” he says, the nickname rolling off his tongue.

Even the name of the nickname is embarrassing. Kenma gave it to him when Kuroo slipped off the road trying to help a black cat, covering himself in mud. He’d blinked up at Kenma when Kenma look down after him, grasping the startled cat in his hands and sniffling up at Kenma because he’d scraped his knee raw as he slid. He’d looked so pathetic Kenma had just stood there and said, _I think you scared him_.

Kuroo had said, _Let’s name him Kuro!_ Which, even if it was black, was a silly thing to name a cat when your own name was Kuroo. It was a silly thing to name a black cat after its color anyway.

 _I was talking to the cat_ , Kenma had said. Since then, Kuroo had become Kuro, and that was that. Tetsurou was too long anyway.

“Hmm?” Kuroo hums, bringing Kenma back to the present.

“You’re not a badass,” Kenma says.

“I’m plenty badass!” Kuroo gasps, as though Kenma’s said something horrible instead of something horribly obvious.

“You’re embarrassing,” Kenma insists.

“I am not!”

“You have a cat pillow.”

“I like cats.”

“You love studying.”

“My intelligence is part of my allure.”

“You’re a nerd.”

“But I’m good at volleyball.”

“You’re a volleyball dork.”

“I am not.”

Kenma raises an eyebrow at him for that one. Kuroo huffs. “Fine, maybe I am,” he mutters. Even he knows when to throw in the towel. “But that’s our secret.”

Any worry that Kenma had about Kuroo being in a team without him vanishes at that. Being the only one to know how lame Kuroo is, to the point that it’s a secret between just the two of them, is way better than being the only one to play volleyball with him. It feels a little more… Kenma. Something that maybe only Kenma is suited for, or best suited for.

And besides, the second he goes to middle school, Kuroo is going to hound him until he joins the team. He knows by now that Kenma doesn’t hate it, which means he’s never going to give up on the idea of it being a common hobby of theirs.

-X-

Simply put, if Kenma had to pick a moment where things between them shifted, it would be Kuroo’s first day of high school. Nekoma is a fifteen minute train ride away, and Kenma’s not willing to go that far just to walk Kuroo home, which means he has to start walking home each day alone.

It’s bizarre, at this point, but Kenma’s fine with it. Kuroo still lives a block away. He’s promised to come over occasionally to make sure Kenma is studying. Kenma has to pay more attention not to miss his block, and he does kind of miss Kuroo peeking over his shoulder.

Kuroo, though, comes right over after school and plants himself right on Kenma’s bed. Kenma kind of regrets whatever he did to allow Kuroo to think Kenma’s bed was forevermore also Kuroo’s bed, but at least he can throw himself over Kuroo, letting his feet hang off the bed as he uses his friend for a headrest.

Kuroo’s really still and really quiet for a long time, though, so Kenma puts his hand on his neck to check for a fever. Fevers are really the only things that knock Kuroo out properly.

“I’m not sick,” Kuroo mutters into the pillows.

Kenma withdraws his hand, putting down his game to look at Kuroo. He doesn’t want to ask, but he wants Kuroo to know he’s listening whenever Kuroo’s ready.

Kuroo rolls over, and Kenma shifts a little to let him, then lays right back.

“The upperclassmen are jerks,” Kuroo mutters. “They’re bossy, but just because they can be.”

He plucks at Kenma’s sleeve absently. Kenma lets him continue, because he knows Kuroo isn’t done.

“And I don’t like the first years either. One of them is a libero of the team that smoked us that one time. The tiny one with the light hair.”

“I don’t remember him.”

Kuroo shakes himself a little, seeming offended. “Well, I don’t like him. We’ve got nothing in common.”

“You’re just being competitive,” Kenma says softly.

“Then I’m being competitive,” Kuroo says, a touch petulantly. “I still don’t like him.”

Kenma sighs.

“And it sucks sitting on the train alone,” Kuroo says finally.

“It’s fifteen minutes, Kuro,” Kenma says gently.

“But that used to be fifteen minutes I could spend with you,” Kuroo whispers back, and Kenma is scared for a moment he might actually cry.

“I’d just play games the whole time,” Kenma says.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kuroo insists.

Kenma doesn’t know what to do, so he grabs Kuroo’s hand and squeezes. Kuroo pulls his hand a little closer, and curls ever so slightly around Kenma’s head. There’s something so incredibly close in it that Kenma doesn’t even think of the fact that his fingers are buzzing with the absence of something to toy with or that his neck is a little too far tilted. He wants to be here forever, for every breath to be one that he’s sharing so close with Kuroo, as though the world had collapsed into just the two of them.

“I’m here now,” he says, and it’s a little scary, because he means it so intensely. He’s always sure to be a little gone, because being enveloped in the real world is so terrifying sometimes, but here it’s ok, it’s ok because the world here is just him and Kuroo.

Everything is ok when it’s Kuroo.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for violence. It's not graphic or anything, but it's 100% due to homophobia, so beware.

In a way, nothing changes when Kenma comes to Nekoma. In another way, that’s when everything changes.

Kuroo still hates this year’s third years. They’ve been awful even as second years, he knows they’ll be even worse as third years. He’s scared that Kenma will give up when he has to face them. Kuroo isn’t sure he’ll want to play volleyball as much if Kenma quits.

But for now, it’s morning, and he’s waiting in front of Kenma’s house again. It’s been a year since he stood here and watched Kenma’s sleepy face drag himself down to the gate. As usual, he barely responds when Kuroo tells him good morning and just starts walking.

Kuroo hurries after him and matches Kenma’s pace. For someone who never looks up while walking, Kenma walks pretty quickly. He’s playing something flashy and quick, and Kuroo ends up in a lull, watching those nimble fingers flying over the buttons. They don’t speak, but having Kenma beside him is so very soothing.

He almost forgets to worry about whether Kenma will stay on the volleyball team or not.

-X-

The third years are awful to Kenma. They seem to think he’s an easy target because he’s shy, but Kuroo knows that while Kenma hates this, hates that this is the way the world works, hates that these boys can make him run laps, he’s not going to break. He’ll just quit, and for him everything will be fine, but for Kuroo he’s going to lose something that he could really, really share with Kenma.

The third years make Kenma run laps each day, and each day Kuroo gets more frightened that Kenma is going to leave it behind. What will happen to their friendship if their one common hobby becomes sour for Kenma?

It’s not like they don’t have much in common. They’re comfortable around each other. They’re both smart and calculating. Kenma likes playing video games with Kuroo watching and Kuroo likes watching him. But volleyball is the one thing that they’ve really worked on together, the only thing that they constructed for each other instead of just slipping into it beside each other. It’s like the only time they’ve needed to reach out for each other and drag each other just a little bit closer than before, and if Kenma gives up it’ll be like he’s letting go.

There will be a gap between them that wasn’t there before. Will it keep growing? Kenma doesn’t really need interaction, if he grows tired of Kuroo it’s unlikely that he’ll keep him for sentimental reasons. And Kenma’s stubborn, if he gives up on volleyball, it’ll be _final_ and it’ll be the first step. Maybe it’ll be the last, too, but Kuroo can’t risk that.

He panics, and he does something stupid.

Kenma skips practice one day. The third years are laughing about how it looks like he’s not cut out for volleyball anyway. Yaku and Taketora scowl, but they seem to think that if they know the third years are wrong, that’s enough. Certainly not something to start a row over.

Usually, Kuroo is smart enough to agree.

Usually.

But today Kenma skipped practice, and he didn’t tell Kuroo, and Kuroo… Kuroo is spiraling.

“Hey,” he says, and his voice is oddly calm, though he doesn’t feel calm. “Kenma is smarter than all of you put together. Maybe if you got off your little power trip, you’d notice.”

He’s not sure what he’s trying to achieve with that. He knows that’s not the sort of declaration that will get them to back off of Kenma. It’s a declaration that will get under their skin. Kuroo… Kuroo kind of just wants to pick a fight. He wants to yell at them, kick and scream and tell them how _meaningless_ they are compared to what Kenma is to him, and how _dare_ they get in the way of that.

One of the third years lets out a disbelieving snort. “Right,” he says. “The kid’s not a genius.”

“Kuroo just thinks he’s special ‘cause he’s in love with him,” another says.

“Are you in love with him? In love with the shaky little robot?”

Kuroo can’t bring himself to say no. Not because it’s ever occurred to him that he’s in love with Kenma, but because denying _any_ kind of love for Kenma because of these assholes feels wrong. He just stares at them, silent.

Their jeers die down after a moment. “Shit, you _are_ ,” the first third year whispers. “Aw, man, whouda thought you’re a…”

Yaku stands up at that, putting a hand on Kuroo’s arm before he does something truly stupid.

The increase in numbers, even if it’s just Yaku, seems to be too much for the third years, because they back off. Kuroo doesn’t want them to back off, he wants to go at them, but he feels Yaku beside him, steady in a mildly threatening way.

He turns his back on him, and they slink away, whispering.

-X-

They jump him after Kuroo starts home, just after he says goodbye to Yaku and heads down to the train station. Two of them hold him down while the third kicks at him, laughing. “Like that little wind up toy is ever gonna love you back,” he hisses as he does so. “Though maybe he’d finally show a little emotion if he knows his knight in shining armor is perving after him, huh? A little disgust? You’re fucking disgusting.”

They leave Kuroo gasping on the sidewalk. He’s unbearably sore and his chest is tight, and he clutches it as he stumbles back home.

Luckily they didn’t leave any bruises where they’d be visible, so he tells Kenma the next day that he has a cold to explain his breathlessness. Kenma looks at him funny, but Kuroo can’t tell him the truth.

It’s stupid, because it’s not like Kuroo has been lusting over his best friend. He just… just wanted to pick a fight. He did this on purpose.

Still, it sticks with him somehow. _Finally show a little emotion. A little disgust_. He pushes it down, because all this started so that he could stop the third years from breaking what he and Kenma have and he’s not going to break it anyway because maybe (just maybe) he might be gay and some asshole thinks it’s disgusting.

He tells Kenma not to quit the team. He tries not to let it show that he’s saying it because it would break him to risk losing Kenma. Kenma’s quiet, and he doesn’t say he’ll stay, but he keeps showing up practice after practice. The third years lose interest in him now that they can shove Kuroo around when no one’s looking anyway.

Kenma’s the only one who notices that Kuroo is more tense around them, but he doesn’t ask, just brushes his fingers against Kuroo’s arm whenever he notices Kuroo lock eyes with one of them. He probably thinks that it’s just because they’ve been picking on Kenma. Kuroo never lets him find the bruises. As long as Kenma sticks around, as long as they’re still friends, it’s ok. Kenma doesn’t need to worry about this.

The third years don’t stick around for the spring match, though, once they’re beaten brutally in the summer training camp by Bokuto, who’s just moved up to regular now that his team’s getting used to him and Akaashi is there to keep him centered.

Kuroo becomes fast friends with Bokuto that summer.

-X-

Kenma dyes his hair blonde.

Kuroo is kind of neutral on the look itself, but once he’s done teasing Kenma over it, he kind of falls into a weird lull watching it. It’s… it’s oddly Kenma. He must have gotten too lazy to dye the roots properly, because they’re still black. It makes him look kind of… well.

Kuroo can’t explain it, but it makes sense, somehow. And Kenma looks a little more grown up like this, or maybe it’s drawn Kuroo’s attention to the fact that he’s gotten a little taller.

Whatever it is, Kuroo likes it. He watches Kenma’s head fondly all the way home.

It’s only when he’s alone that it snaps into something different.

For the most part, the moment the third years graduated, he’d forgotten every worry they’d planted in him. But now here he is, thinking about Kenma, and how _good_ he looks and the way his hair falls into his eyes and how Kuroo wants to slide his fingers through it. He’s done that before, when Kenma feel asleep on him and he has to move his head aside to get up, or when Kenma needs a rare amount of physical affection. He’s done it enough to know Kenma’s hair is extraordinarily soft.

So why does it send his heart into a flurry _now?_

Maybe it’s because Kenma changed his look. Kenma never really changes anything. He gets into his groove, digs himself into it, and refuses to budge. And now he’s dyed his hair and for a split second things seem _possible_   and it hits Kuroo like a truck.

Maybe Kuroo’s only been able not to be in love with Kenma because he’s been so convinced nothing will ever change, and now it’s obvious that things _can_ and he _wants_.

In a fit of madness, he texts Bokuto.

**_Do you ever have gay thoughts?_ **

It’s an abnormally dumb thing to ask, and doesn’t even scratch the surface of what Kuroo’s worrying about, but he just wants to talk to someone about it. He wants to talk to Kenma, but he doesn’t know how to sort out his feelings enough to be even remotely capable of it.

Bokuto just sends him a picture of Akaashi. Kuroo blinks at it. It’s blurry, kind of, but Akaashi is smiling on it. He’s clearly talking to someone else and it’s from a weird angle, so Kuroo figures that Bokuto must have seen Akaashi smiling, dived back into hiding and taken a quick snapshot. The thought makes him laugh.

**_So that’s a yes?_ **

**_bro_** , Bokuto texts back.

**_Do you think he’d be grossed out if he knew?_ **

**_are u saying i'm gross????!!!!??_ **

Kuroo snorts. **_Nah, bro. You’re wonderful._**

 ** _lmao i'm the best_**. A little later he asks, **_are u having a gay panic?_**

**_Little bit._ **

**_ur not gros either bro_ **

**_Thanks._ **

Kuroo sets his phone back on the dresser and rolls over. He feels a great deal better. He’s grateful for Bokuto, but he still misses Kenma. Which is dumb, because he just saw Kenma and he’ll see him in a few hours before school too.

Somehow, though, he ends up climbing in Kenma’s window not a half an hour later.

Kenma just sighs and scoots over to give him room. Kuroo snuggles up beside him and watches him play his game. “I like the blonde hair,” he whispers after a while.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Kenma just barely smile, but it’s one of the precious, warm little smiles that Kenma only allows when he feels safe. Kuroo tucks his face into Kenma’s shoulder and breathes deeply.

He might be just a little in love with Kenma after all.

-X-

He starts building the team up around Kenma. He doesn’t notice he’s doing it at first. He’s just thinking strategically. The more everyone matches Kenma, the better Kenma will be able to do his thing. That, and Kenma’s strategic sense is all Nekoma’s really got right now to put them ahead of other teams, and everyone left in the team has really taken a shining to Kenma.

Nekomata seems to think he’s doing well, and they’re doing well in practice matches.

Kuroo figures if he’s doing it already, he might as well go all out. He makes speeches about circulating blood to the head. In a way, he’s reminding the team to keep calm, think over things, but on a more base level he knows that by _brain_ he means _Kenma._

He wonders if Kenma knows that, and if that’s why he hates the speeches so much.

Kuroo hopes he knows. It makes his eyerolls that much sweeter.

-X-

“You stopped staying over,” Kenma says one night, when his head is nestled just below Kuroo’s collarbone.

Kuroo hums in a small question.

“Last year,” Kenma says, quiet. “You never stayed over.”

Something clenches in Kuroo’s chest and now it’s worse than it ever was when the third years were still around. Last year at least he had the benefit of thinking it was all just a misunderstanding, but lately it’s getting harder and harder to convince himself that he’s not devastatingly in love with Kenma. He wants him, wants to touch him, to promise to each other that they’ll stay together forever…

On impulse, he slides his hand off Kenma’s back where it was resting. It doesn’t seem right, not when he wants to slide it up Kenma’s hoodie instead.

“You only started again when I dyed my hair,” Kenma continues. Kuroo knows he’s felt him go still under him. “It was the third years, wasn’t it?”

Kuroo nods. He can’t breathe.

“Did they hurt you for standing up for me?”

Kuroo nods again. It’s not technically a lie.

“I wish you wouldn’t have,” Kenma says quietly. “You got kind of weird towards the end of last year.” He’s quiet for a while. “I don’t think I would have quit. I don’t like volleyball much, but I like that you like it.”

“Sorry,” Kuroo rasps, though he’s not sure what it’s for. His heart is thundering, and Kenma spreads his nimble fingers over his chest at the center of it. Kenma gives him a long look, one that Kuroo can’t really comprehend, but it’s sharp somehow, and it makes Kuroo feel like Kenma’s going figure things out for the both of them.

Kuroo might be Kenma’s roots in the real world, but Kenma takes care of Kuroo as much as Kuroo takes care of Kenma.

Right now, he’s prying apart the tightness in Kuroo’s chest with skilled movements, a little nuzzle of the head and an absent tease of his fingers against Kuroo’s hoodie at a time. For a moment, Kuroo thinks he might just tell him how he feels, but he chickens out at the last moment.

Kenma might handle it well. Probably would handle it well, calmly and strategically. But he might _not_. And if he doesn’t, he’ll be _gone_ and Kuroo will be _so very_ alone. Not even Bokuto would be able to make up for the absence of Kenma.

“I’ll stay over more often,” he promises, and he slides his hand back around Kenma.

It’s almost a confession, even if Kuroo’s the only one who knows it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of BokuAka in this chapter, so the mood is a little bit inconsistent with the rest of the chapters. Hope you enjoy!

It’s that night, when he feels Kuroo’s heartbeat pounding against the tips of his fingers, that Kenma realizes what’s shifted between them.

He’s not sure where to put it.

Romance is never something he’s considered. He feels kind of like he’s been holding precisely as many boxes as he can hold and someone is trying to hand him another. It’s there, he can’t push it away, but there’s just nowhere that it _fits_.

But still, it’s Kuroo, so he grapples with it steadily.

He doesn’t really see where it happened, or why. There’s a lot of things he loves about Kuroo and he knows that no one will compare, no one will slide into his life beside him like they’re two puzzle pieces meant for each other like Kuroo. Not even now that he’s finally started making his own friends. (Shoyo is the polar opposite of Kenma. He likes the dynamic. He likes Shoyo, but Shoyo isn’t Kuroo by a long shot.)

But Kuroo is just so… he’s just Kuroo. He laughs too loud, he acts like a child around Bokuto, he goes on long rants about chemistry, he thinks volleyball is ten times as cool as it actually is…

Kenma wants to take everything about Kuroo and hide it into a crevice of his heart where it can be safe and loved forever, where it can make Kenma feel as warm as he does whenever Kuroo snuggles beside him.

Even stranger than that, though, is the physical side of it.

Sex has been even less of a concern for Kenma than romance. He masturbates, sure, because sometimes it feels nice, but just because that’s the way he’s built. It relieves tension. He cries too, sometimes, just so that he’ll feel better. It’s not because of anything, though.

And yet, one morning when Kuroo stays over, Kenma finds himself staring at his face. Kuroo has rolled over in his sleep, sliding the pillow from his face, and Kenma realizes that it’s pretty rare to see Kuroo sleeping. Even after away games, Kuroo either stares out of the window or pulls his hoodie up around his face. At home, Kuroo always buries himself in pillows. He’s not buried in pillows now, though, and his beadhead is crooked from it too. Not enough that anyone else might notice. But Kenma notices.

He looks so peaceful like this. So soft. Kenma presses a trembling kiss to Kuroo’s cheek, almost feeling like Kuroo’s going to shatter if he presses too hard.

Kuroo doesn’t wake up, so Kenma slides out of bed after a while of watching him. Kuroo gives a little moan at the loss of his heat, and it sends something shivering through Kenma to hear something so vulnerable slip out of Kuroo. He pads into the shower. He’s still got a bit of morning wood, so he wraps his fingers around his cock when he gets under the spray.

He doesn’t usually think of anything when he does this. It’s mechanical, really. But today he finds himself thinking of Kuroo, and what it might look like if he was as quiet and soft as he was sleeping, but with those dark eyes focused on Kenma. It feels almost as though that would be just… raw Kuroo. No clever grin, no agenda, just… Kuroo. Kenma’s Kuroo.

Kenma wants Kuroo to be _his._

He doesn’t come harder than usual, but it’s a little more enjoyable than usual, somehow.

-X-

Bokuto barges into Kuroo’s house on a completely benign Sunday, only a day before one of their training camps. Kuroo is still eating breakfast, and he just blinks at Bokuto when his mother guides him into the kitchen.

Bokuto lives about a half an hour away, and he’s only been at Kuroo’s twice. Once for Kuroo’s birthday, and once for a New Year’s party.

It’s not only that, but Bokuto looks terrible. Kuroo’s mother is glancing at him periodically, because he’s swaying a little and he looks like he may puke at any moment. She starts trying to mouth questions at Kuroo, but he waves at her to hold off for the moment. He guides Bokuto gently into his room. Bokuto is all but vibrating the whole time.

“What happened?” Kuroo asks, once he’s gotten Bokuto to sit down beside his bed. Bokuto moans and sticks his head between his knees. “Hey. Come on. You’re freaking me out here.”

Bokuto looks up with a small hiccup. “I gave Akaashi my phone,” he mumbles.

Kuroo cocks his head at him. “Come… come again?”

“I was busy and we were buying new shoes for Wataru and I snapped a pic, and I was looking at the prices, but I handed Akaashi the phone to text him the picture real quick and…” He wraps his arms around his head. “Kuroo… I’ve got like ninety pictures of him on there. There’s barely pictures of anything else.”

“Oh,” Kuroo breathes. “I… how’d he take it?”

“He just kind of stopped and stared at it. And then he showed me and asked what the hell those all were and… god, I don’t know if he was pissed or annoyed but he just _stood_ there and… and… I bolted, man, I even left my phone with him…”

“I’m sure… I’m sure he’ll get over it. You probably just startled him.”

“I shouldn’t have taken those pictures.”

“Come on, it’s… it’s not that weird. I have plenty of pictures of Kenma on my phone.” _Not that that says much._

“Did you take them in secret?”

“A few of them.”

Bokuto toys with his feet. “Do you think he’d be mad at you for them?”

“I… I don’t know,” Kuroo admits.

“I’m in love with him,” Bokuto says quietly.

Kuroo doesn’t know what to say to that.

“Like… at first I just thought he was pretty, but…” Bokuto shakes his head, sniffling. “I’m in love with him. And he hates me for it and now we can’t even be friends.”

“You’re just panicking,” Kuroo says gently. “Come on. Get some sleep. You’ll feel better after a nap.” He helps Bokuto into his bed, covers him up and stays with him until Bokuto’s sobs die down and he falls asleep.

“Love troubles,” Kuroo tells his mother, who smiles knowingly.

He takes out his phone and flips through his pictures. There’s forty five of Kenma, fourteen of which were taken without Kenma’s knowledge. Eight of those are Kenma sleeping in Kuroo’s arms. Kuroo has never thought much of it, really. They take pictures of each other every so often, what are a few that they take while the other isn’t paying attention? Kenma’s taken pictures of him despite Kuroo begging him not to take that kind of picture of him. (He remembers one with Kuroo in pigtails.)

He’s flipping through them absently when it occurs to him that he’s jerked off to one of them, technically. Kenma had fallen asleep on his shoulder on the train and it had been a nice evening, so Kuroo had taken a picture of him. He’d found himself looking at it late at night that day, and wishing that he could have held Kenma’s hand and kissed his head while he was sleeping there.

He doesn’t remember when the fantasy had turned sexual. Every so often he’d imagine running his hands through Kenma’s hair and the way that Kenma might sigh if Kuroo kept going, running his hands along Kenma’s neck. Kenma’s lips were just slightly parted in the picture and Kuroo kept thinking of how it might look when a moan was what parted those lips, how he’d look down at Kuroo as Kuroo wrapped his own lips around Kenma’s cock, how those golden eyes might watch him, still ever so slightly impartial as he thrust into Kuroo’s mouth.

He hadn’t dropped the phone when he finally reached down to his cock. He’d just stared at the picture, letting it fuel his fantasies as he worked himself quickly to a shattering orgasm.

Afterwards, he’d immediately regretted it, but that didn’t change the fact that he’d done it. He’d snapped a picture of his sleeping friend and then he’d jerked off to it.

 He’s shaking. It’s not ninety two pictures, but…

… jerking off to a picture of your friend sleeping really kind of ups the creepy factor. Probably even faster than just taking a lot of them.

“Shit,” he whispers, and he dashes to the bathroom before he throws up. He tries to tell himself to relax. Just because Akaashi took it badly doesn’t mean Kenma would too. Just because Akaashi took it badly doesn’t mean it’s _wrong_. Kenma won’t even know anyway.

It takes a while for Kuroo to calm his stomach and his breaths.

 ** _Have you ever taken a picture of me in secret?_** he texts Kenma. He regrets it immediately, but he figures that if he gets a weird response he’ll just blame it on the situation with Bokuto.

Kenma sends him a picture of Kuroo petting a cat. Kuroo lets out a startled laugh, sniffling a little as the tremors in his hands die down a little. Kenma sends another picture of Kuroo asleep, his drooling face just barely visible from where he’s curled around his pillow, blankets pulled over the side of his head. Kuroo desperately wipes away the tears on his face, grinning.

 ** _Thanks_** , he texts. Normally he’d tease Kenma for this, but he’s not up for it today.

Kenma immediately texts him **_???????,_** then **_Are you ok?_**

Kuroo texts back **_Yeah. Why?_**

**_No teasing. What happened?_ **

**_Akaashi found Bokuto’s pics of him. Didn’t take it well I guess. Bokuto’s wrecked._ **

**_Wait_** , Kenma texts back. **_Are you freaking out because u have secret pics of me?_**

 ** _Eight of them_**.

 ** _Were not friends anymore,_** Kenma texts, and Kuroo can almost hear the wry sarcasm that would be in his voice if they were speaking in person. A few moments later, he adds, **_U only have 8 and i have 34 :(_**

Kuroo splutters. Thirty four? **_I want to see all of them!!!!!_**

**_Never_ **

**_Are any of them naked??_ **

**_…_ **

**_Kenma?!_ **

**_…_ **

**_KENMA._ **

**_…_ **

**_KENMAAAAAA._ **

**_;)_ **

Kuroo blinks at his phone. Kenma is always more teasing over text, probably because with the added time to think he can finally get a little revenge on Kuroo for blatantly misusing his hatred of speech to tease him constantly, but he’s never… flirted with Kuroo before. Kuroo has no doubt it’s a passive aggressive response to a stupid question (obviously Kenma doesn’t have pictures of him naked) but it’s still a little shocking.

He forgets to answer.

 ** _More seriously: im not going to stop being friends with u for taking secret pics of me,_** Kenma texts finally. **_I hope akaashi gets over it too_**

**_Me too. I hate seeing Bokuto like this._ **

**_Im on his side_ **

**_I’ll tell him._ **

**_But if any of those secret pics are embarrassing im gonna kill u_ **

**_They’re cute._ **

**_> :(_ **

**_So cute._ **

**_Kuro_ **

**_You’re cute always._ **

Kenma sends him the picture of Kuroo with his hair in pigtails, courtesy of Kenma when he was bored and annoyed with Kuroo.

**_If u dont stop its going 2 the whole team. Ur rep will b ruined_ **

**_You’re mean._ **

Kuroo’s not freaking out at all by now, so he gathers himself up to go check on Bokuto and cram a little food in him. Bokuto is only willing to eat sweets, and Kuroo figures that’s better than nothing, so he goes out to get some ice cream for Bokuto.

-X-

The next morning Kuroo has to drag Bokuto out of his house with both hands. Bokuto doesn’t want to go to training camp if it means having to face Akaashi. Kenma is waiting outside for them, but no matter how hard Kuroo tries to convince him to help, he doesn’t even attempt to join Kuroo in hauling Bokuto along. At the moment, Kuroo is feeling more sorry for Akaashi for having to put up with Bokuto at all.

Somehow, though, he gets Bokuto to training camp, ready to take it up with Akaashi if Akaashi says a single thing against Bokuto.

Suzumeda jogs up to Bokuto before he can get near the changing rooms. “Akaashi-san told me to give this back to you!” she says brightly, but the way Bokuto reacts someone would think he’d just been told he only had three months to live. He stumbles towards the changing room as though death awaits him there, and Suzumeda just watches him with a tired smile. “What’s up with him now?”

“Ah… it’s complicated,” Kuroo says.

Bokuto is still watching his phone gloomily, like it’s the one who doomed him to his fate when Akaashi rushes out of the room and straight into Bokuto. They stare at each other, and each seems more terrified than the other.

“Um,” Akaashi says, which is the least graceful thing Kuroo has ever seen him do. His knees are all but knocking together and he has his jacket pulled tightly over his chest. “I…”

“S-sorry,” Bokuto stutters.

“N-no…” Akaashi manages.

 _Oh_ , Kuroo thinks. _Bokuto has entirely misjudged the situation, the dumb bird._

“Look I know…” Bokuto starts, but before he can finish, Akaashi lets up on his jacket and shows him his shirt.

Bokuto blinks at him, and Akaashi looks like he might just puke all over Bokuto. Before today, if anyone would have told him that Akaashi could look this ruffled, he would have laughed at them, but here he is, all but tumbling over, wearing a shirt with a tiny horned owl on it and saying, in bright, bold letters,  _I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU OWL NIGHT LONG._

“Is that… an owl pick up line,” Bokuto whispers.

“Yes,” Akaashi croaks.

“It’s an owl pick up line.”

“Yes.”

“Are you asking me out?” Bokuto says, his usual, gratingly overconfident tone back in his voice.

“I’m sorry if I misinterpreted the situation,” Akaashi mumbles, and Kuroo is honestly ready to dive forward to catch him if he passes out.

Bokuto, who doesn’t know how to do things halfway, just bounces forward and captures Akaashi in a crushing hug and a heated kiss. Akaashi goes limp in his arms for a moment, knees giving out and arms splaying out over Bokuto’s back,  forcing them to tumble against the wall, but Bokuto doesn’t let up. Kuroo kind of wants to cut in to check that Akaashi is still breathing, but he also wants it to happen.

Eventually, though, Bokuto lets Akaashi out of the kiss, and grins at Akaashi’s dazed look. “Thank you!” he cries, squeezing Akaashi tight and then darting off to get changed, leaving Akaashi to claw his way up the wall again.

“Are you going to wear that shirt all day?” Suzumeda asks, smiling wryly at him.

“I… I may have led Bokuto-san to believe something awful yesterday and I’d like to make it up to him,” Akaashi mutters. “So… yes.”

“So cute…” Kuroo coos, but something’s really tight in his chest. He’s suddenly a little too aware that Kenma is right behind him, watching all this unfold as quietly as usual.

“Where did you get that shirt so quickly?” he asks.

“I…” Akaashi mumbles, blushing. “I already owned it.”

Kuroo can’t help it. He bursts out laughing. “A match made in heaven. Wait… no…”

“Kuro, are you trying to think of an owl pun for this?” Kenma asks.

“Yes.”

“Don’t.”

“But Kenma…”

“Don’t.”

It’s all so playful and happy. Should be happy. But Kuroo can’t help but feel the storm clouds gathering over his head, ready to break.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo is really smart but he has his bad moments.

Kuroo seems happy for Bokuto for all of three hours before Kenma can see his mood slipping quickly.

Kenma has been more or less prepared for this. Kuroo has been upbeat, but this is the third time they’re going to be separated for a year, and this time they’ll be further than ever. Kenma has been waiting for Kuroo to realize this, and he recognizes the lost look on his face right now. He doesn’t know why it’s Bokuto and Akaashi that sent him over the edge, but it’s definitely Kuroo’s “no Kenma” face.

He’s not sure how to deal with it. He’s apprehensive about them being so far apart too, but he knows that they’ll stay in touch. Surely Kuroo knows that too, so it won’t be a large comfort to him to know Kenma will be there with him over text.

He’s chewing on his lip and watching Kuroo sulking when he realizes Shoyo is talking to him. He looks over at him.

“You weren’t listening,” Shoyo says, looking rather put out.

Kenma frequently phases out when Shoyo is listening, but clearly if Shoyo was able to notice, he overdid it. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing important,” Kenma lies. “What were you saying?”

“I was just talking about Kageyama,” Shoyo mutters.

Kenma resists the urge to sigh. Shoyo’s crush is getting a little out of hand, and Kenma is pretty sure that Kageyama still thinks that Shoyo doesn’t even like him as a person, while Shoyo is trying to hint to him that he likes him as a potential boyfriend, but to no avail. Though to be fair to Kageyama, his last “hint” was that he just reached forward and grabbed Kageyama’s abs as his shirt rode up, then was too terrified to say anything else.

“He’s still not getting it, huh?”

“He’s hopeless,” Shoyo mutters.

Kenma doesn’t think he’s wrong, necessarily. It’s just that Shoyo’s leaving out the fact that he’s also hopeless.

“Kenma?” Shoyo asks, strangely quiet for once.

Kenma hums.

“Do you ever think about that sort of thing?”

“What sort of thing?”

“You know. Romance. Kissing and cuddling and…” He blushes deeply and then whispers, “…sex?”

“I don’t mind it,” Kenma says. Sometimes he thinks about it, but he doesn’t want Shoyo to start asking about who he has in mind.

“Do you think you’d like to give it a try?”

To be honest, Kenma isn’t sure about the answer to that. He can only imagine any of that with Kuroo, and it’s all pleasing to think about, but he doesn’t need it. He doesn’t really want to try changing anything between him and Kuroo for that sort of thing. Not unless he’s sure it’s what Kuroo wants. Kuroo hasn’t said anything to that effect, though, so Kenma has let it be. But to be fair… “Yeah, I’d like to try it.”

Shoyo giggles at him, but Kenma’s distracted by Kuroo storming by.

He huffs out a sigh. Kuroo’s definitely spiraling, and Kenma needs to think of a way to stop it, but he’s drawing a blank. He’ll bring it up in the evening, when he can cuddle up to Kuroo and at least offer him physical reassurances.

-X-

Kuroo hates himself right now.

Bokuto and Akaashi just got together and Kuroo has been pissy about it ever since he stopped trying to think of a good owl pun for it. It shouldn’t make a difference to him. It should make him happy. It’s not like Bokuto being happy makes Kuroo’s situation any more shit than it already was.

He’s in love with Kenma. He’s in love with Kenma and Kenma trusts him implicitly and Kuroo, in the meantime, has been using that trust to lust over his friend. His friend who’s not interested in him. Couldn’t _possibly_ be, because Kenma isn’t like that, he’s not… there’s no way…

At least, Kuroo thinks so, until he overhears him talking to Hinata. _“You know. Romance. Kissing and cuddling and… sex?” “I don’t mind it.” “Do you think you’d like to give it a try?” “Yeah, I’d like to try it.”_

Hinata has that stupid, permanently hopeful look on his face and it’s so obviously a confession and Kenma has just said he wants to try it and does that already mean they’re dating and God… Kenma’s _dating someone else._

“Kuro,” Kenma calls, breaking Kuroo out of his frantic pacing. “We’re up against Karasuno.”

Kuroo tries to pull himself together, but he forgets the speech before the game and he messes up the rotation at first and now everyone’s staring at him, even Kenma, with those too sharp eyes and _he’s going to know. He’s been trusting Kuroo all this time, cuddling up to him and he doesn’t think of him that way and Kuroo has been and it’s sick and he’s been using Kenma’s trust just to…_

The ball hits him in the chest before he even sees it coming, knocking the air out of him. “Kuro,” Kenma says softly.

Kuroo apologizes, passes the ball back to the Karasuno side and wills himself to breathe.

Maybe it wasn’t a confession. Maybe it was just a casual conversation. Kenma and Hinata? It’s ridiculous. They’re friends, sure, but they’re _opposites_. In every way. Kuroo shakes himself and gets back into the game. _Right_ , he thinks, _it’s fine._

Karasuno takes the first set, probably because Kuroo spent the first half of it having a panic attack.

Kenma’s watching him like a hawk during their quick break. “Kuro,”  he says.

Kuroo grins at him. “Don’t worry,” he assures him. “I’m fine. Just felt a little funny there for a little while.”

Kenma doesn’t look convinced, but he looks back at the court and then smiles. “Shoyo is hopeless at romance,” he mutters.

Kuroo’s blood goes cold, but he shoots a look over his shoulder. Hinata is beaming at Kenma, hopping a little and waving.

 _Shit_ , Kuroo thinks. _Shit, they really are dating._

It doesn’t make any _sense_ , but honestly… this is the first time Kenma has made his own friend. Kuroo wouldn’t have thought Kenma even wanted new friends, and then Hinata shows up and… and… Kuroo’s mind feel like a record skipping.

The second set starts off slow, which is good, because Kuroo feels like all his limbs have been steeped into cold molasses.

And then the latest and greatest freak quick shows up, and Kuroo glances at Kenma and he’s smiling. It’s not even one of those tiny little half smiles that Kenma usually does, it’s a smile. And honest to god smile. Kuroo’s never once seen one of those on Kenma’s face.

Kenma sends the next toss to him, but it sails right past Kuroo’s head, because Kuroo has just short-circuited.

After years and years of humoring Kuroo, Kenma is finally enjoying volleyball because of Hinata. And why wouldn’t he? Hinata is a ray of sunshine. He’s determined and he’s always doing exciting things. Hell, he makes Kuroo enjoy volleyball more. He’s easy to be friends with. Everyone likes him. It’s just natural. Kuroo is leaving for college anyway, it’s probably an ideal time for Kenma to move on. Find better friends, learn to live his life to the fullest without Kuroo clinging to him.

“I think… I’m going to sit the rest of this game out,” he whispers. God, it hurts. He can hear people calling his name, but he walks out anyway.

It shouldn’t hurt. He loves Kenma, he should be happy that Kenma is finally deciding to take his life into his own hands and be happy. Kuroo shouldn’t want to drag him back, make him stay… what? Curled up next to Kuroo? Constantly saying “I don’t hate it,” instead of actually enjoying things?

He collapses onto his mattress in their room and pulls his arms over his head and shuts down.

After a while, he hears the door creaking. He hears people whispering. Lev is saying something loudly, and then Yaku is shooing him in an attempt to be quiet. The door creaks all the way open, then swings shut.

“Kuro,” Kenma says, draping himself over Kuroo’s shoulders. Kuroo rolls so that his back is facing Kenma, Kenma’s elbow dropping away with a twist.

“Don’t,” Kuroo begs. Maybe he can make peace with Kenma finally leaving him behind, but not if he has to watch it happen, slowly, their friendship twisting and pulling apart until finally Kenma forgets about him.

 “Why not?” Kenma snaps.

“Because that’s not how friends touch each other,” Kuroo says, a bit more spitefully than he meant to.

“What?”

“It’s… it’s not,” Kuroo mutters.

“Is this about Bokuto and Akaashi?” Kenma asks. He sounds genuinely baffled, which doesn’t happen often.

“You’re dating Shrimpy,” Kuroo murmurs. “You should cuddle up to him.”

There’s a long, long silence, then a very long sigh. “Kuro,” Kenma says. “Turn around.”

Kuroo refuses, though it’s childish.

“Tetsurou. Turn around.”

The sound of his first name sends a thrill through Kuroo. He drags himself back around, but he sits up to preserve a little of his dignity.

The look that Kenma fixes him with is eerie. It feels like he’s looking straight through Kuroo. He feels a little naked underneath it. “Look me in the eyes and say that again.”

“You’re… you’re dating… Shrimpy,” Kuroo mumbles, though with Kenma looking at him like that, he realizes again how ridiculous it sounds. He feels his shoulders slump. “No you’re not.”

“Of course I’m not,” Kenma says. “Shoyo’s fun, but so is ice cream. I wouldn’t eat it for every meal.”

Kuroo feels himself unraveling under that gaze and Kenma just isn’t letting up. He’s not even blinking. “I… I just don’t want you to leave me behind,” Kuroo says, and to his horror, he can feel his voice cracking and tears burning at the backs of his eyes.

“Kuro,” Kenma says softly. “Don’t be silly. I could never leave you behind.”

“I… I don’t know who I am without you,” Kuroo blurts, and with every second, he feels more and more vulnerable. He can’t meet Kenma’s eyes anymore, so he lets his head fall forward into Kenma’s lap. “Even volleyball… I’m team captain and I only started liking volleyball because it was something we did together. I… I’m constantly thinking about you, I… Kenma, I…” He can’t breathe. There’s tears everywhere, and each breath he tries to take turns into a sob instead.

Kenma sighs and rubs his fingers through Kuroo’s hair absently. “You’re smart,” Kenma says quietly. “You’re so good at chemistry and you think so much about everything you do. You’re kind. You’re always thinking of others before yourself. You’re a big, soppy dork and yet you’ve got everyone convinced you’re cool.” Kuroo manages to look up, fists curling into Kenma’s pants. Kenma smiles at him, the same sort of real smile that Kuroo had just panicked over. “But I know you. And I know you’re wonderful.”

Another sob shudders through Kuroo’s body, but Kenma just keeps stroking his hair.

“I could never leave you behind,” Kenma repeats. “Nothing has ever meant as much to me as you. It would be like leaving one of my limbs behind because I got bored of it.”

Kuroo whimpers and plants his face into Kenma’s shirt. “I don’t want to go,” he moans.

“It’ll only be one year. Then I’ll follow you, like always.”

Kuroo shakes his head wildly. A year is too long. “I need you,” Kuroo babbles, muffled by Kenma’s chest. “I need you. It’s going to eat me up I need you so bad… I want… I want…” He looks up at Kenma, and Kenma’s gaze stabs through his chest. He looks… god, he looks angry. Kuroo wants to shrink out of existence. _He knows. He knows everything and he’s angry._ Kuroo wants to take it back, but he hasn’t _said_ anything, Kenma just sees straight through him.

“That’s why you started this after Bokuto and Akaashi got together,” he says, in a tone of voice that Kuroo has never heard from him before. “Because even when Bokuto leaves for college, they’re going to have each other in a way we can’t if we’re just friends.”

Kuroo nods. He wants to beg Kenma to just forget about this. He wants to swear that he can forget about his feelings, just as long as Kenma stays with him, just… _please, Kenma, please…_ He twists his hands into Kenma’s shirt in silent pleading.

“Is this why you stopped staying over two years ago?” Kenma asks sharply. Kuroo doesn’t respond at first, and Kenma grabs his wrists and pulls Kuroo up to look at him. Kuroo is shaking too hard to fight him. He nods. “This is what they hurt you for? The third years?”

Kuroo pauses. He’s lost the direction of the conversation, but Kenma’s voice is cracking against him like a whip and his hands are tight on Kuroo’s wrists. He nods helplessly. “They asked if I loved you and I couldn’t say no…” he whispers. “They _told_ me…” _He should have listened, should have gotten over it then…_ “That you’d be disgusted… and they’d beat me… and…”

“ _And you believed them?”_ Kenma hisses.

Kuroo’s breath catches in his throat. Kenma knocks him back onto the mattress and before Kuroo knows it he’s straddling him, hands still gripped tightly around Kuroo’s wrists.

 “You’re driving yourself crazy…” Kenma grits out, and Kuroo whimpers, because he’s never seen Kenma like this, never even thought he had this much emotion in him. “… trying not to be in love with me, because those _assholes_ said I’d be disgusted, and _you believed them_?”

“You… you always trusted me and you were comfortable with me and… and I was thinking… about… I wanted…” Kuroo stutters, but he feels like he’s just digging himself further into trouble with Kenma. He feels so small right now, like Kenma is the one who’s twenty centimeters taller and a year older and Kuroo is just a child who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Kenma’s look changes suddenly.

Kuroo can feel his heart skip two beats.

“I should have noticed it before,” Kenma says, suddenly absurdly calm. “You want me and you don’t know how to let yourself feel it. It’s eating at you, isn’t it?” He presses a kiss to Kuroo’s forehead. Kuroo nods weakly. He feels like the ground has been jerked out from under him and he doesn’t know which way is up. “Let me show you how I want you, and you can follow my lead, alright?”

Kuroo hears a humiliating noise tumble from his lips, but he nods. Kenma leans forward and kisses him deeply. He doesn’t waste time. He shifts the pressure back and forth for a moment before seemingly reacting to a shiver Kuroo barely noticed himself and diving in with the exact right pressure. Before Kuroo knows it, Kenma is licking into his mouth, leaving Kuroo whining and writhing beneath him. Kenma responds to his every noise, adjusting each move until the kiss is just perfect, honed in on taking Kuroo apart.

“Why are you so good at this?” Kuroo asks, when Kenma lets him breathe.

“Because I’ve been _thinking_ about you too, you idiot,” Kenma says. “And you have a tell. I see it whenever you see a kiss you like on TV.”

“You’re _uncanny_ ,” Kuroo breathes, and Kenma captures his lips again in response.

“Do you feel it?” Kenma whispers when he finally lets up, allowing Kuroo’s fried brain a little time to remember how to operate. “How I want you?”

“Down to my toes,” Kuroo gasps. It’s true, too. He’s shivering, toes curling with Kenma’s every other movement.

“Good,” Kenma says. “That’s how I want you to want me.”

“I do,” Kuroo sobs. “I love you.”

“I’ll love you forever,” Kenma responds, kissing Kuroo tenderly this time.

“Ok,” Kuroo murmurs when Kenma releases him again. He’s quaking and sniffling and he feels like a child but he’s with Kenma. Everything is ok when he’s with Kenma. “Ok.”

-X-

Kenma kisses Kuroo until he can feel Kuroo’s sniffling even out. He’s still shaking, but the desperation of their earlier kisses has ebbed away. Kuroo still follows Kenma’s lips with his own when Kenma pulls away, giving Kenma a horribly lost look when he realizes that Kenma is stopping for the day. Kenma almost allows himself to be pulled back. Kissing Kuroo is dizzyingly good, like nothing Kenma has ever experienced before. Kuroo’s so responsive, it feels like every tiny movement that Kenma makes rolls through Kuroo’s entire body. It makes Kenma’s fingers itch with the desire for more, a burning curiosity of what else he can start with Kuroo’s body.

He steels himself and pushes Kuroo back. “You’re exhausted,” he tells him. “You should rest.”

Kuroo doesn’t seem to understand, but he follows Kenma’s lead when Kenma drags him up onto the mattress and pulls his head into his chest. Kenma wraps his arm around Kuroo’s head, running his fingers through Kuroo’s hair. It’s just as soft as he’s always imagined. Kuroo lets out a hitching breath, then melts into Kenma’s shoulder. It’s so cute that Kenma doesn’t know what to do with the sparking feeling it leaves behind.

Eventually, the team streams back in and it’s like a whirlwind of voices all at once.

“Is the Captain ok?”

“Lev, give him room!”

“Are you guys together now?!”

“Finally!”

“Congratulations!”

“Lev, stop trying to touch him.”

“Aaa, Kenma-san is territorial!”

“Shut up Lev!”

“Kuroo! Kuroo! Does this mean we’re sharing an anniversary?! Kuroo!”

“Kuroo, you owe the team a set of diving drills!”

Kuroo doesn’t move from Kenma’s chest, but at some point he makes a small noise of complaint that has Kenma’s heart clenching and which sends Yaku into mother mode and has him shoving everyone away. Eventually everyone slinks off with some kind of congratulations. Kuroo sniffles a little against Kenma, but after that his breath finally evens out and he dozes off.

Of course, the team jumps him again as soon as he wakes up, but in the morning Kuroo’s grin is back in place and he takes it all in stride like nothing’s happened. But every so often, he glances back at Kenma and gives him a soft, quiet, all-too-Kuroo smile.

Kenma wants to spend the rest of his life cuddling him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only an epilogue left! D:


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh... I did not proofread this chapter half as much as the last two, but I won't have time to look over it for a while and I wanted it to be up within the next few days.  
> It is 20% cutesy fluff and 80% cutesy smut.

They decide to tell their parents before Kuroo heads off to university, just in case they take it badly and Kuroo has to step in to get Kenma out of trouble. Kuroo sets it up, calls their parents together, but he loses his cool the very last minute. Kenma has to drag him out of the bathroom before he tries to drown himself (or at least before he can be very dramatic about insisting he wants to drown himself.)

Their parents are chatting happy over the dinner that Kuroo’s mother made. Kenma and Kuroo have planned how they’re going to ease them into the idea, but when Kuroo is faced with the idea of actually telling his parents, he grabs Kenma’s hand, pulls him close and blurts, “Kenma and I are dating!”

There’s a sudden quiet. “Kuro,” Kenma whispers, sounding rather severe.

It’s Kenma’s mother who speaks first. “Well,” she says gently. “To be honest, we’re just sorry you waited so long to tell us.”

Kuroo stares at them queasily. “It’s only been a month,” he says weakly. He looks pale.

“Oh,” Kuroo’s mother says, sounding rather startled. “Oh, dear.”

“We thought it started when Kenma started high school,” Kuroo’s father admits.

“We didn’t want to bring it up until you were ready,” Kenma’s mother says softly.

Kenma grabs a chair for Kuroo before he falls over. “Oh,” he says, sinking down. He plants his head in his hand. “Oh, I’m so stupid.” Kenma pats his shoulder sympathetically.

“Kenma, dear,” Kuroo’s mother says brightly. “Come on. Sit down. Eat something.”

And that’s that.

-X-

Kenma and Akaashi move into Bokuto and Kuroo’s apartment on the same day. Akaashi immediately starts inspecting every corner, though Kenma knows he’s been here several times, nearly as often as Kenma. It’s likely that Akaashi has just been avoiding the thought of what his boyfriend gets up to without direct supervision.

He seems to be satisfied, though he’s weirdly shocked about it. “There’s real food in the fridge,” he mutters.

“Hey,” Kuroo calls. “I can be a responsible adult.”

“Don’t you mean we can be responsible adults?” Bokuto cuts in.

Kuroo glares at him. “No. You washed a handful of crayons into the laundry last week, bird brain, you’re an irresponsible five-year-old at best.”

“Akaaashiiii,” Bokuto cries. “Kuroo is being mean to me!”

“He’s right, Bokuto,” Akaashi says. Bokuto lets out a betrayed gasp.

Kuroo grins and sticks out his tongue at Bokuto, who makes a face at him, shoulders squared and feet looking ready to stomp in protest like a five-year-old.

“Come on,” Kuroo chuckles, turning away from Bokuto and taking Kenma’s hand. “I have a surprise for you.”

He leads Kenma to their room. Everything’s the same as usual. There’s a periodic table in one corner, a desk full of books in the other. A stray volleyball on the floor, but everything else tucked neatly into place.

The only difference is the bed. It’s a lot larger than it was before, more than enough for the two of them. Kenma crawls into it appreciatively. It’s so soft, and he nuzzles his face into the pillows. There’s a lot of pillows. “We can finally sleep together without you crushing me…” Kenma murmurs. He knows it was a mistake as soon as he says it, because Kuroo takes this as his cue to lay right on top of Kenma.

Kenma groans. He actually kind of likes it when Kuroo lays on top of him like this. The pressure is nice, and he feels safe with Kuroo’s body pressed into him like this. Still, he’s not going to admit it, or Kuroo won’t stop and eventually he’s going to crack Kenma’s ribs.

“Kuro…” he wheezes. “No.”

“You love it.”

“I don’t.”

Kuroo pauses long enough to rub his nose against Kenma’s neck and press a kiss to his spine. “You do.”

“I don’t.”

Kuroo rolls off, laying beside Kenma and smiling at him softly. Kenma’s getting used to those lazy little smiles that they share when they’re alone, but he doesn’t think he’ll ever get bored of them.

He leans forward to kiss Kuroo. Kuroo returns the kiss without a thought. Lately Kenma has to work a little harder to get his boyfriend to melt into a soppy mess. It should be annoying, but it’s exciting, really, like they’ve leveled up somehow.

He crawls into Kuroo’s lap. “Are we…” Kuroo whispers, looking up at Kenma with that wide-eyed look that Kenma adores. “… you know?”

Kenma does know, but he doesn’t answer him. He likes keeping Kuroo a little on his toes, if only for all the times Kuroo teased him and dragged him to volleyball practice when he didn’t want to go. He dips forward and captures Kuroo’s lips with his own.

Kuroo had thought that the first time they’d kissed, Kenma had perfected the technique of kissing Kuroo. He knows now that Kenma had only scratched the surface. They’ve kissed a lot of times since then, and Kenma is always doing something new, as though he’s constantly noticing things that Kuroo likes. He probably is, even if Kuroo isn’t. This time he nibbles at Kuroo’s bottom lip, running his tongue over it until Kuroo’s lips are sensitive and raw.

He dips down, working on Kuroo’s neck, licking and sucking and biting methodically until Kuroo is gasping for breath. Kenma pulls up his shirt, deft fingers sliding up Kuroo’s chest and then back down, tracing little circles into Kuroo’s skin in all the right spots. Kuroo has no doubt that Kenma could probably take a marker and trace every single one of Kuroo’s nerves.

His fingers move quickly but softly, something akin to a tickle, and it sends flurries of pleasure running through Kuroo’s body. Kenma bites down on his neck gently, then sucks a hickey into it. Kuroo twitches. His entire body feels like a livewire and Kenma’s still escalating, placing careful touches along the lines of his hips and up his abs.

He’s always abnormally focused when he’s like this. Kuroo’s gotten him off once or twice, but it’s like Kenma forgets that he’s turned on too when he’s focused on Kuroo’s pleasure.

“You’re so hot like this,” Kuroo mumbles.

Kenma hums questioningly, not looking up.

“It’s nice to watch when you’re focused on your video games,” Kuroo explains. “But it’s really different when it’s me you’re looking at like that.”

“You’re not unlike a video game,” Kenma murmurs. “Except better.”

“Oh?” Kuroo says, and he resists the urge to preen with the praise.

“Well, obviously I love you,” Kenma says, and Kuroo jerks as he scrapes his fingernails along Kuroo’s sides, not hard enough to hurt, just hard enough to shift sensations for a moment. “But also, there’s a lot more I can do with you than a game. It’s the same sort of thing, a set of motions and strategies that you have to learn in exchange for rewards.”

 Kuroo shouldn’t be turned on by this, but he is. Tragically so. “In video games, there’s only so many rewards you can give. Health points, currency… maybe items.” He glances up at Kuroo, golden eyes sharp. “Here there’s more I can do. If I want a gasp…” He pinches at Kuroo’s nipple suddenly, and _dammit_ , Kuroo really does gasp. “… or a whimper…” He leans forward and runs his tongue along the edge of Kuroo’s ear, and Kuroo does his best not to whimper, but fails. “… I can do any of those.”

“You’re scary,” Kuroo breathes.

Kenma doesn’t move from where he is, breath hot against Kuroo’s ear. “I want to fuck you,” he whispers, and Kuroo shudders, as though all the sparkles of pleasure Kenma’s planted have just now come alive under his skin.

“’Kay,” he manages.

Kenma smiles. “Do you have lube?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo says. “Bedside table. I knew you were moving it today, obviously I… I thought of… you know.”

Kenma does know, though he finds it endearing that Kuroo’s still too shy to say it, not matter how hard he tries.

He pulls Kuroo’s shirt off, then grabs the lube and tosses it on the bed while he tugs Kuroo’s pants off too. He settles between Kuroo’s legs and squirts a good amount of lube on his fingers, savoring it when Kuroo squirms in anticipation. He takes Kuroo’s cock in hand, then pops it into his mouth, wrapping his fingers around whatever doesn’t fit comfortably. He licks at it lazily as he starts toying with Kuroo’s hole as well.

Kuroo’s legs are shaking around him, and his head drops back as he moans. Kenma slides his finger in. He knows what to search for, though he’s not sure how it feels. He searches for a moment, and when he finds it, Kuroo gives a desperate little mewl, jerking forward, legs sprawling out suddenly.

“That was a new sound,” Kenma says, letting Kuroo’s cock drop out of his mouth. “Can I hear it again?”

He strokes Kuroo’s prostate again, gently, and Kuroo’s head falls back with that same little mewl, his back arching. “I think maybe in bed I should call you kitten,” Kenma teases. Kuroo’s dick twitches at that. Kenma files that away for later.

He avoids Kuroo’s prostate for now. Kuroo’s sensitive, and Kenma doesn’t want him coming just yet. He prepares Kuroo efficiently, adding fingers whenever he notices Kuroo relax into the motions. Kuroo weaves the fingers of one hand into Kenma’s hair, and lets the other fall behind him, clutching at the pillows.

Kuroo’s squirming by the time Kenma finally decides he’s ready. He slicks up his cock and slides in, and then has to stop. It’s so hot and tight around his cock, and in this position he’s bent over Kuroo’s chest, his own face a great deal closer to his boyfriend’s. He can see Kuroo’s eyes go dark and he gasps. Kuroo’s hand flies to his mouth to stifle the loud moan before it can alert their roommates.

Kenma struggles to breathe. He’s never been this turned on. “This is better than I thought,” he mutters, slightly annoyed. He really kind of likes being able to think things through for Kuroo during their sexual endeavors.

“Aw,” Kuroo coos, though Kenma can see he’s struggling to stay coherent. “Did your game just get harder, kitten?”

Kenma glares at him and angles himself so that he can give a hard thrust right into Kuroo’s prostate. Kuroo gives a muffled cry, biting down on his hand. “You’re still easy, Tetsurou,” Kenma tells him.

Kuroo’s eyelashes flutter a little at that. Kenma sighs inwardly. Given Kuroo’s reactions, it’s likely he’ll have to learn a little dirty talk, even if Kenma himself can’t take it seriously.

He pulls Kuroo’s legs up to support himself on Kuroo’s strong thighs and gives another thrust. Kuroo’s eyes slide closed and he falls back, stifling his noises with his hand. Kenma gets into a rhythm slowly, then speeds up. Once he’s gotten it down, he wraps his hand back around Kuroo’s cock and jerks it in that same rhythm.

It’s over far too quick. The pleasure builds up in Kuroo like a hurricane, just mounting and mounting until he’s writhing, moans and whimpers bubbling out of his throat. Kenma is steady though it all, though Kuroo can see on his face that this is getting to him too, and that’s what ends up sending him over the edge, the tiniest stuttering of Kenma’s hips and a little gasp that rolls its way out of his lips.

Kenma fucks him through it, then a little longer. Kuroo’s painfully oversensitive, but he wants Kenma to keep going, until everything is washed away by the pleasure that Kenma decides to give him.

Kenma comes with a shudder and a small moan, gripping Kuroo’s sides tightly.

He takes a moment to catch his breath. Kuroo tries to pull him down for a hug, but Kenma shakes his head and jerks away. “Shower,” he says.

“Kenma…” Kuroo whines.

“Shower,” Kenma repeats, firmly.

Kuroo sighs. “Fine. Shower.”

-X-

“We’re going to celebrate this beautiful day,” Bokuto declares, once Kuroo has made food. Kuroo grins, shaking his head a little. Kenma and Akaashi both sigh. Bokuto’s ideas rarely go well. “Let’s do a movie night!”

“I admit, that sounds a lot less disastrous than I thought,” Akaashi says.

“Hey, I have good ideas sometimes!” Bokuto cries, nearly smacking Kuroo in the face as he waves his arms. Kuroo slaps him away with a growl.

“They’re so few and far between we forget sometimes,” Kenma mutters.

Bokuto gasps. “Kuroo, your boyfriend is being mean to me!”

“I’ve raised him well,” Kuroo says proudly.

“Kuro, if we’re dating you can’t act like you’re my parent.”

“Yes I can. Lots of people call their boyfriends daddy.”

“Akaashi, if I ever call Kuro daddy assume I’ve been replaced and kill me.”

“Understood.”

“We’ve allowed them too much time to conspire,” Kuroo sighs. “They’re ganging up on us.”

“Serves you right for trying to corrupt Kenma with your weird fetishes.”

“Oi! I’m the innocent one in this relationship!”

“Of course you are…”

“Weren’t we picking a movie?” Akaashi cuts in with a sigh.

“Let’s watch a detective movie,” Bokuto insists.

“No good,” Kuroo replies. “Kenma always knows who the murderer is within ten minutes.”

“Hey, you can’t brag about your boyfriend while he’s here!”

“My boyfriend is amazing and I can brag about him whenever I want!”

“Kuro, please don’t.”

“How about horror?”

Akaashi gives a little moan. “No,” he mutters.

Bokuto bounces over to him, grinning as he buries his head in Akaashi’s shoulder. “Are you scared?” he crows. Akaashi glares at him. “You can cuddle up to me.”

“Kenma figures those out too,” Kuroo calls.

“Bro come on, I’m pulling the moves here!” Bokuto yells back at him.

Akaashi groans and slaps his hand over his eyes. “Bokuto-san, we’re already dating.”

“There’s an indie horror movie I’ve heard about,” Kenma says, eyeing Bokuto sidelong. Bokuto cocks his head, then grins, sneaking him a thumbs up behind Akaashi’s head. “It’s supposed to be pretty hard to predict the twists.”

“Well, that settles it then,” Kuroo says. “I’ll make popcorn.”

Akaashi sighs.

-X-

The movie ends with Kenma fast asleep in Kuroo’s lap, apparently losing interest once the monster was shown on screen. Bokuto and Kuroo, though, are still staring wide-eyed at the screen, and Akaashi refuses to lift his head from where he’s buried it in Bokuto’s chest, clutching tight.

“Is he sleeping?” Bokuto whispers.

Kuroo snorts. “I told you I’m the innocent one.”

Bokuto sighs. “Come on, let’s go to bed, Akaashi,” he says, ruffling his boyfriend’s hair.

Akaashi lets out a long, muffled groan.

“I’ll check under the bed for you,” Bokuto teases, and after a moment Akaashi relents, letting Bokuto guide him into the room while Kuroo stands up and hauls Kenma into his arms.

He’s just slipped into their room when he hears Akaashi shriek and then yell, “BOKUTO YOU ASSHOLE,” followed by a loud thump.

Kuroo snickers. He settles Kenma into the blankets, kissing his nose softly. Kenma’s sleeping face is something that Kuroo treasures. Kenma’s always trying to be monotone, but Kuroo’s so used to him that he notices every facial expression that slides through the façade. This one, soft and unconcerned, finally letting all his little observations go for a little while, is one of Kuroo’s favorites. Though to be honest, maybe all of them are his favorites.

Kenma peers up at him sleepily, eyes cracking open slowly. “Kuro,” he murmurs, his hands sliding around Kuroo’s face.

“Hey,” Kuroo says quietly. “We’re going to sleep together every night for the rest of our lives, Kenma.”

“That’s an unreasonable statement. What if one of us has to take a business trip,” Kenma mutters.

“Shh,” Kuroo says, kissing his fingers gently. “I’m being romantic.”

“You’re being embarrassing,” Kenma sighs, but he lets Kuroo nuzzle at his hand. “I love you,” he whispers. The air between them is soft and tight.

Kuroo smiles down at him, resting his elbows around Kenma’s head. “I love you too.”

Plenty of space or not, Kenma spends half the night cuddling Kuroo, at least until Kuroo steals his pillow to add to the mound of pillows gathering around his head, at which point he wrestles back the pillow and lays down on the other end of the bed, holding Kuroo’s hand as he dozes off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to miss this fic, but I've gotten so many wonderful comments! Thanks to everyone who did leave a comment, you guys have been making my days! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and/or come talk to me on Tumblr about KuroKen! (url: dgalerab)


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